Saturday, January 06, 2007
hmm...n heres another update...alas sumthing happen in my life...and i feel great...at least i noe im alive...heh...kay,ill jus tell ya wer u i go for e pat few days...hmm...actually nuthing much lah...three days ago i went to paragon toys r us to help my supervisor do sum checking of da repacks...yeah...nuthing much happened there oso...jus got knocked down by sum heavy boxes n suffered a minor migrane...but hey,part of da job...so fuck it...fell off the ladder...bruises alongmy leg...connected wit my supervisor...stuff like dat...those happened during the three days...then ytd met up wit her coz she wanted to go out...treated her to a movie...we watch death note 2...hahaha...cool creatures there...hahaha...i enjoied the movie n company...but i din noe if she enjoied it as much as i do...but hey,i find everyting enjoyable...oni wen im down lah tat is....then watched till rnd 10 plus like tat then take mrt together...i offered her for me to send her home...but she din wan...so i cudnt do anything...i hate to force people...hahaha...so i went home feelng kinda gud tat at least i managed to spend sum tyme wit her...n dun mistake her for bein my galfren,coz she aint...at least im trying to make her mine...but i dun seem to be getting any wer...especially since its my second chance to make amends n all...i seriously feel like i suck...kay simply sed,ill jus divide tis into another paragraph n then ill start pouring out my misery...
kay done...damn,i seriously feel like i suck...tis is the second tyme i fill so helpless in creating a relationship...i jus fill so helpless...i regretted irritating her tat tyme by msging too much even though i new i ws bein irritating...but hey,tat ws my oni way of learning bout her...so i jus took a risk n busted it...i regretted tat alot n wished i cud take it all beck...but i want her,i seriously do...i may sound so psychotic but i aint...its jus my blog so im saying watevers on my mind n mainly,its her...haish...i hoped for a second chance n asked her sister to ask her sister if i cud...by the tyme,i oredi ws givin her space to breathe so tat i wudnt suffocate her...her first answer ws no way...but then she tot about it n gave me a yes...but i still cudnt help tinkin bout e first answer...tats y im so unconfident nw...i cnt tok much n cnt be myself anymore...i hv to be careful wit watever i do...coz i aint got room for mistakes n chances anymore...frankly speaking,tis second chance does not feel anything likea second chance at all nw at tis point...i noe its kinda early,tats y im gonna be patient...but i fill like im rite at the bottom n hv no way up...unless she gives me a sign tat i am getting sumwer...then i wun waste anymore tyme n get straight up to the peak n hv her...but it aint showing nw...and i nid all the help i cn get to understand her coz shes different...more complicated than i tot...but yet a more switer person inside than i tot...shes a pot of gold to me,n i nid her...but i cnt seem to get it...i suck...i seriously suck...spitting out my problems here cud well help it...but then agen,its still in my mind...u cnt jus wash it all out...nt unless i get hit by a car n lose memory of her...hmm,nw is tat a gud solution??hmm...haha...well,i gotto wait n c if it accidentally happens...coz i seriously feel very swey these past few days...so u cn nvr noe...it cud jus happen tmr,or the day after...wich is y i confessed my feelings to her wen i had the chance...coz u never noe wen ur gonna die...treasure ur luved ones n tell them u luv them beofre its too late aite guys...before its too late...a lesson iv learnt thru tyme n tis incident...sumthing as minor as a smile or hug,cud mean a bomb to sumone whu luvs u...n it aint a joke...iv felt it before...but nw tat person is outta my life...ouhwell...swey boy...hmm...kaylah,tats it for today n maybe for another week...rafff outzzzz....n agen,i suck.....FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!argh damn it!!!dun wori ah people,ill snap outta tis in a few days....buaix....
rafspin snaps...
12:46 AM
